Vent Time

Ok. I know I've not posted on here in awhile. Life has been hectic, to put it mildly. Here's the highlights:

• Our stove died. My dad tried to fix it, my dad couldn't, my dad bought us a new one as a surprise, I cried.
  
• My husband was gone for 5 days in a row, Mon-Fri, was home Sat, Sun, was gone Mon 5.30A-9.30P, Tues 5.30A-7.30P, Wed 5.30A-8.30P :(
• Husband came home Tuesday at 7.30P, said, "I'm going to James'. Be back later." Returned at 11.30P.
• Got property tax bill in the mail, called assessor's office to dispute the $400 increase, assessor said "you did these improvements: A, B, C, D, E, F. And did not get any permits. You're now paying penalties for lack of permits." I responded, "We did no such improvements. Those were done before we moved in. Shouldn't you be billing the previous owners?" I cringed as she stifled her laugh, and got off the phone angry and scared.
  
• Our house payment rose by $85 to cover the difference :( $85 we don't have and have to trust the Lord will appear.
  
• My oldest started KG, my middle started 3 day/week preschool, my youngest and I are alone 2 1/2 hours 3 days/week! Now, do I get anything accomplished at home during those hours? No. My youngest is permanently attached to me during that time. Who can blame her?
• I've been tasked with making 16 bags of friendship bread... which is really the whole reason I'm venting today.
  
• I have 300 MOPS newsletters printed and ready, but have to manually enter 300 names into my database again because I didn't put it in the right program. I've been procrastinating getting that done. It's such a chore, and I don't want to do it, but my deadline is coming up fast to have them done.
  

Yeah. The friendship bread is my problem at this moment, and I do not have the right attitude about it, so I've come to put my frustrations on screen and see if that helps. I doubt it, but spread the misery right?

Let me explain Amish friendship bread. It's this bread that takes 10 days to make from start to finish. It's base contains flour, milk and sugar. There's a recipe that comes with it, and over the course of 10 days, you squish and squish this bag of stuff. Then every few days, when the recipe states, you add ingredients and squish some more. At the end of the 10 days, you partion out your bag into 4 other bags to give away or freeze for future use, and you have some left over to bake a loaf with. It's sourdough bread, and from what I've heard, is some of the best bread ever.

I'll never know. After watching the bread on my counter for the past 2 weeks, I'll never eat any sourdough again. Nasty. Milk sitting on my counter spoiling in a container for 2 weeks. No thanks.

So our MOPS steering team decided that each mom at the first MOPS meetinng should go home with a bag of Amish friendship bread, a little sample of friendship tea, and all in a cute little gift bag. They should also have a cute little gift card to address each bag.

Well, at our steering team meeting, it only occurred to one person who thought enough ahead to go home and start these starter bags of A.F.B so that we would have them prepared for the moms. When she had enough prepared, she sent out a call to all to help her make more. How many from our 12 member team responded? 2. Me and Richelle. That's it. Out of 11 members, 2 responded. Richelle picked up 3 bags from her so that she, I, and one other mom, Terri, could continue the task. Terri didn't really have a choice, I think. I think Richelle just stopped by and said, "Here you go. This needs done. Please help."

So the 4 of us now have 1 bag each, and each bag will make 4. Certainly, at the end of these 4 bags we currently have, someone will step up and take a couple off our hands, right? Think again. At the end of those 4, each of us portioned them out to 4 each, making 16 total. I talked to our coordinator about it. She said she'd send out an email. 4 days later, she sends one out alright. It says that she spoke to 2 of the moms doing the bread, and it appears that no help is needed. Um. I disagree. I have 4 bags on my counter, with 4 days left to go on them before adding more ingredients. Certainly it wouldn't hurt one of these others to take a bag off my hands. Or Terri's. Or Richelle's. Or Cherie's. Why are 4 women responsible for making 64 bags of bread, and 8 baked loaves? As usual, it's a case of few doing the work of many. And it doesn't even occur to the many that maybe they should step up and help.

That annoys me to no end. It's not that no help was needed. It's that they didn't bother to ask earlier in the process, and now, what's the point? Well... I would still have gladly handed 2 bags off. We ration our milk around here like it's cheese and bread in WWII. I don't have any to spare. My children drink a lot. Sugar? Flour? I know... it's not that expensive. But still. My problem is not about the ingredient list. It's about the principle of teamwork, and 8 women who just think "Well, someone else will do it." None of us has a busier life than any of the rest of us. We're all equally limited in our time and equally stretched in our activities. It's not too much to ask you to help out when it's needed, and it's not expecting too much for you to say "Yes."

The next time a group activity needs done, I'll volunteer again. That's just how I am. You need help, I'm there. I'll do whatever I can in any way I can. Even if it's not in my normal routine. No excuses about my time being limited and my attention being short. It's a job that needs done and I'll be one to help.

I'm praying all day today that the Lord heal my heart over this. I do not want to start out this brand new year of MOPS with a chip on my shoulder. I want to start out with nothing in my heart feuding with my spirit. It's not right to do so. Dear Lord. You know the circumstances. You know why I'm angry and you know that I don't want to carry this with me into this group. Please help me to lay down my anger and pick up your love and forgiveness. Thank you Lord. I know that you'll work on me, and through me. Thank you Lord for your patience and love. Thank you that I can give this up to you, and know that you'll take care of my pain. Amen.